Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Sever problems

Hi guys I am not Dead yet. I did not post because I am having some sever problems from blogspot.. Any way I will get it fix A.S.A.P. Ya…..Happy new year!!!! Guys

Sunday, January 29, 2006

My Benzodiazepines Stock is a shock !!!!!!!!!!!



Sunday, January 22, 2006

Sidekick Alcoholic drink

This is an exotic alcoholic drink in town labeled Sidekick it comes in different flavors the amazing think is it also comes in different Volume As you can see the chocolate flavor carried a vol. of 14.5 % alcohol and the blueberry has 20% Vol. It comes with a little hint of blueberry flavor, and it is also very plate ableThe Redberries has a berry taste indeed But it burns more to the the Double Cho (see above) due to the difference in the alcohol vol% it carries.

P/s I was a bit intoxicated so my writing maybe a bit sluggish

Friday, January 20, 2006

They can’t understand so they Condemn

This is a serious post so there is no pictures for any Distraction

Drug addiction . The name itself carries a bad name in this society. I myself am battling with this problem for years. Doctors say it is a disease .Society presumes it as a sign of rebelliousness.
Whichever is correct a person that is dependent on substances needs the help and support of their love ones to win over their addictive behavior. No one wants or likes to be dependent to any substances they are on.

(sorry to be direct now)All I can say is Parents if any of your children or spouse is dependent to any substance. Please. Don’t be too hash on them (because it will only make things harder for them to quit) , but help them by talking to them calmly. (also the same for your bf or girlfriend please try to understand them .)
A good approach is by referring them to the people who are train in this line . I am not a professional in the line of addiction and am only stating things from my own experience. These are some links I found that maybe useful for their recovery .
http://www.camp.org.sg/index.cfm
http://www.sana.org.sg/

Update.....I would like to state that I am having a problem with pharmaceuticals, and not illicit Drugs.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Getting to know a friend

I met a guy called Tulsi in a Comic shop in Geylang !!?? He is 22 and I am 26 he is really a nice guy.Yes it was the same comic shop I came the last time that is called Tenchicomics. Tenchicomics is very popular and has things from Comics , Dvd renting , net usage ect...... to keep oneself entertain.// It is really a good place to chill out. We had a conversation and ended up talking aboult different kind of guns(!?) yes mp5 ,M16 ect...., after finding out that he is a Gurkha Police.

p/s I know I look ugly cuz I had not slept for 28 hrs

Ban Codeine preparations please

Codeine this chemical is known to most people worldwide as a cough suppressant. But do you know the dark side of some preparations? Take for example DHASEDYL it contains a combination of Codeine Phosphate , Promethazine and ephedrine . Codeine as one know is a syntactic Opiate base chemical. When Codeine is consume the brain will than metabolize part of it into Morphine. When C.N.S Stimulants are taken or mix with Codeine like Ephedrine (A base of Amphetamine) It Stimulates the (C.N.S ) Central nervures system or Brain to work harder to metabolize more of the Codeine that were consume into Morphine ! That will in turn take a toll to the brain causing brain damage. Anyway I myself is struggling with this cocktail thing. In the long run when this is taken one will have psychotic symptoms like hearing voices , paranoia ect…..
If I am not wrong PHENSEDYL is ban in Bangladesh. Please read it at
http://www.essentialdrugs.org/edrug/archive/200202/msg00040.php

Monday, January 16, 2006

Monday blues

I am now posting from Techi comics shop http://www.tenchicomics.com/ It has been a very stressful day for me. Coming from a place I really feel uneasy in the afternoon. Anyway I am very mentally drain . I manage take a photo of myself to show the state I am in now with a web camera they provide.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Voluntary Guilt

I had spent the afternoon helping out in a Place I can’t disclose due to the content of this blog . I was also updating the contents webpage (multitasking). Any way it is voluntary. It really takes my mind of my Dad’s problem I had earlier. I felt a bit guilty not putting my effort as having the quality a Volunteer this week end . Any way I did not sleep for 24 hours .I got to confess it was due to my A.T.S ( Amphetamine–Type-Stimulant ) I took after the bezos .

P/s I know It is not Logical to smile in this post …er but my friend did not know this pic was for a blog. Sorry.. Very sorry guys.

Clonazepam

I happen to obtain a large amount of Clonoazepam under the traide name Clonotril (can`t disclose the amoult sorry )it is 0.5mg of Clonazpam a Benzodiazepine. I took 20 tabs of them and felt very setatated. I do not have to think of my problems when I take Benzos.It kinda of take my mind of my thoughts I do not want to think about. The dangers of this is that you may overspent. Or worst still shoplift !!!! So be cafeful when taking this Benzodiazepine.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Photography Day



I was thinking what I should do during my free time So I went out to take some photos with my S.L.R Camera. This is a shots I took Where I was in Sentosa in the morning. My theme was about children so here are the pictures... (enjoy... :)

Thursday, January 12, 2006

My sister Looks Zonked

I am really bored and can’t keep myself from ruminating .....(got to keep myself busy)Due to the combo thing ….O forget it …ya :{ . Anyway I wish I can be like my Sister and not over do things. (She takes Bozz (alco%)only.}I do everything. Shit La.. no wounder I am so hopeless . But anyway I still have a family. I came across this picture so I post it. Please click too see a good look at her eyes he he. Alco or Wine ????

Siao (not sleeping for days...)


Damn, I just saw red spots (large ones) everywhere after I downed 20 mg of Xanax ( damn I can still type ::))
Good; I already have sleep deprivation hallucinations coz ive been up for 3 days without sleep and food. The fucking walls (thank god for ms word auto capital letter) were CRAWLING. Fucking moving like I just took a large amount of k (not line, just near till you can't move).
Yeah things are starting to look strange now. Definite improvement from the previous sleep dep visuals, this is more mellow, slow. Like the start of an acid trip teaser visuals. I keep on forgetting wat I wanted to do. Allthat meth no sleep and benzos (had al ot of diff ones just now, I do that towards the end of the run while still injecting just so I don't go fucking psycho and assault someone, you know that meth comedown violent feeling, so its good to temper it a bit with benzos.
Was telling a friend that us Asians (in some more liberal countries anyway) don't really tell people from the US or UK about how large (wow things are moving now, surfaces quivering and OEV, wow) anyway we don't tell coz the climate here allows some of us to buy benzos in huge amounts and it's always available in a pharmacy you know, and also the multiple scripts you get from different docs. Imagine always having large quantities of Dormicum, Xanax, Rivotril (Klonopin), Ativan, Mogadon, Phenobarbital, Valium and so forth at home.
Imagine how big a habit you can work out in countries where benzos are easily obtainable shit I forgot wat I wantd to say. Anyway, imagine having all that benzos around and imagine the huge doses we need. I hear US people saying that 30 mg diazepam is "excessive". Jesus, I take 200 mg diazepam an drink red wine for fun..and someone said no one can take 100 mg of valium and still stay awake. Was laughing coz when you're in a benzo friendly country you can get as much benzos as you want, so its easy to work up to a habit for life.
US and other countries are diff, its harder to stockpile such a huge amount since rx rules are tighter and pharms won't sell it to profit under the table. Thus, more people there are less experienced with benzos so we usually don 't comment since we come from Benzo Bazaar. :)
Ok donr writing, gonna check on visuals now coz I've been steadfastly ifnoring hem for the past minutes while I concentrate and finish what I was writing. Everything looks smooth now and I can seee cardboard box that contains a fan slowly developing cracks and cracks up.
I knew it! :) Ritalin runs without sleep (dep hallucinations) and without food (ultra fast absorption) and zopidem or zopiclone will give you nice visuals esp when you close your eyes (INTENSE). Benzos won't improve on the visuals, it just calms you down a bit, the only ones there are from sleep dep/
But the z drugs (have not tried the other one not available here, sonata I think) will IMPROVE on th visuals and calms you down too. However, don't mean to be dicksizing or anything, just stating the obvious), you need to have a large benzo tolerance to remain awake at large doses of benzos or zopidem/zopiclon. You gotta be awake to enjoy the visuals. It's nice, it's not like the scary sleep dep ones but an improved fun ad happy visual anomalies. Heh) smoking cannabis after taking also makes it more fun.
I want to get sth to eat coz ihaven't for 3 days but I dun think I an be sober. I forget things instantly. shit. But I'm hugry and I need water coz I hardly drank any during my Ritalin (Methylphenidat) run// will go now, it's okay, it's the regular place, just get sth to take away and of course drinks. I need to drink.
Wow fuck I closed my eyes for 10 seconds and I saw myself CLEARLY , saw my reflection clearly sitting on a train and looking out the dark window. It was night. It was SO VIVID I couldn't believe it/ I'll always take zopidem when coming down. Get entertained with these sweet visuals before sleeping. I'm going to get food now though, wish me luck, I can't retain a memory for more than 2 secs/
Just want to tell you all that there's SWARMS of schools of those black worms/snakes moving around the room. They can turn bigger and become translucent too. Heh I'm enjoying this. I can close my eyes and see myself in a coffee shop with people moving around me to sit and eat too, one guy had a yellow t shirt and was wearing glasses. So vivid and nice these CEVs/ oops sorry I used the wron reference just now. All above means OEV when I wrote CEV. Of course I got a lot of nice opened eyed visuals but the ones I described as ultra pantone color vivid comes in closed eyed visuals. It's like the mind makes a dream for our eyeballs. We could just be large balls floating..We could be in that ball like matrix and the god eats it and poof our plate of reality as we know it is gone with just one chew. Everything we've known and loved. Forgotten coz we cease to exist after that. Imagine if we're really in dimensions. We could be in a baseball in a God's beer mug now and he nearly sipped the whole ball (quite big) in but decided not to yet.
Last time not as intense coz no meth(Ritalin) run (sleepdep) and 3 days without sleep (dep) and food (metabolizedultra fast) plus absobtion.
I took zopidem alone (not whole blister pack but near it) a couple of years ago and the visuals were dismal compared to this. And I cant even remember your name Bob! I'm moving around, whee!
Note recipe:3 days of tweaking the usual way with no food no sleep and minimal water(I had to move very close co I had to make sure I was writing the currect thing coz I forgot now and theres; a guy in a grey shirt dancing in my peripheral visual (hallucinationsm the good ones oopslose ability to type liaw'
shit drool is uncontrollable too, it kept dripping and drooling out for a long time now, think its either the benzos or the excessive meth runs of constant IV and smoking compulsively. That can make yu lose control over body too. Droolin manifests frst.\\\and my walls are crawling again in nice big chunks now, not those small pixels. This is a] large scale people painting the wall wth cements and brick laying, wowl
Fucking entertaining I tell you, will do this again, defiately.
There is an old lady, quite big sizd, plybp. Damn the curse in word coms in multiple shades of changing color and there's an car exhause following it. Old lady still there though. Just suddenly appear and sit in the corner hugging her knees. Quite scared coz it's probably just a hallucination (even though I clearly sw her including her mostly blue blouse the common chinese people wears in older days and she looks up at e with her umbrealla tightly held on her lap. Life of a poor old 50+homemaler, just like in a cauge. She always looks at me when I look at her. Please don't talk t me right now I need fucking really concentrate tremember everything which is important.
Oh yah I enjy ythose peple, they enjy making a home and they're nice always carring. I feel sorry for er, unfortauntely she left and a much younger guy (who's halluicioation coz I can see him when I turn around only in my peri vision. Very real.
I had one last thing t saw but I forgot. Oh yeah remember now. I'm not going to type now coz the fonts chages colors and the keys on my keyboard keeps moving around to make me typo. I can hardly write now, too many funky disco balls and flashes of people I talked to ujst now. ItIts peakig now, right now! The keyboards didn't look right and kept mophing and moving around ad deverywhing here is good now, the big league hallucinations have come out in foce!!!!!!!!!
Walking hard textured walls moving and discussing, 4 of them.
I keep on drooling.
And I thought and FELT an early 30's guy, from about here, just came to push my chair in deeper so I wn't fall down. Hey your mnitor is full of animated videw wor. Even looking at dead monitor makes me se thigs.
Whoa, the world just like passed around me just now mst have oned out the girl and his father stll here, and that's tehe security guards to carry our stuff now so I can put everthing in one place.
Its obvio I cam't typ now s I'l enjoy rest of this three combo trip. Its fun. P)Amesome experience right ater hard meth run with IB and smoking I would lik to go (drolled) gain co I can't write in this state, strong OEV - opned eye visuals and my drool is stll on mhin and inever bothered o wipe it
Hey that rcipe is the only way to go. I forgot now pkw4 l4y m4 yu4J
Are so strong thJesis thhe trps sare so stron and insightlyu.
Jut quk jot recipe1. dun et and skee I'm drooling ain.
And fuck my entire floor moved. Ants all I n rw I tink they're still ther should I heck? Going tp cjec;l
Back. I just said that this combo is soooo good I havee to call it psychedelics Try seeubg the walls behind you move straigt contnueslyl, thhe cardnard boxes that are really dancing and moving. Oh, the anterograde amnesia - second to one! :) I don't ist wrote recoe
Recipe: (c0nceentrate)
Enough meth to IV or get big inhles, that works well too
Damn it, I an't even remember wat I'm doing and the box seems to sliding cars like in thise KLIA bugues.
Cocntrate!
Recipe:
1. methamphetamine if not Ritalin (crystal meth or Ritalin for IV and smoking ibsessively). High doss thanks for helping me type this.
Anyway,
Most have teams for ths journeyMethamphetamine (crystal meth) - to last you to remain waait no matter wht hapend. - take lots, inject lots, keep on holding long huge pufs. Dunno wat I'm talking now but just go intense until we die lah, we don't live long, so rather enjoy. everyonee kan?YA!
The side of my cel phone is actually loving now, contbuously, swimming, the allows. I'm droling again.
Shit the rite haired very own woman is squatted here.whats the deal, I'm cofused.
OKRecipe for Methamphetamine (how to make ice. penk or leng ayy
Can't concentrate and everything is moving now =m eveb durt' uts like god aci/magicshrrom mix.
Why do I keep drooling?? Ca't control the muscles theer.I was sitting hefore 5 minte rereading the previous para and we don't now what to o. It's prob coz excessive (I tweak like fuck, will put up the video of me hell, I always except to die each time I quit.
Wahl ah ths box can squirm and loosen hs Sumi type arms and hes ,k ij kuje he's going to break out of the box soon bt of course I nw hat this is just for the combo I too just iw ithub grab is happebng though its very nice to see your new home deciraub fir 2 hurs. Wow is late and I need to get something to eat. And I'm stone an what was hat I took? Yah mth muns, toll me.
Sorry forgo the combo instro
Recipe:
1. Meth (Ritalin) run (3 days without sleep and minimal water) +2. Various benzodiazepines (optional, it's just coz I dependant)3. You should be very hungry by now, meth is just not telling you. SO just constantly IV and smoke continuously until you go half crazy, which wishCrystal methamphetamine can do any time IT WANT featured the 3rd day.
I'm very very confused now though, the peak has passed - I love this trip.Thanks everyone!
Zolpidem is such a nice guy what did he do this to me. I know, I wanted it, but you still have to take more benzos. Jesus, I looked over the CRT monitor tat wasn't functioning and I saw myself and screen warping in 3d. Like I'm in a sitcom. Bizarre this 100 mg dose zopidem when going out - the visuals are intense, you probably will forget something (everything), I think she's funny. She got me 100 mg fr $30 we're firnds.
I'm at plateus now, no it should be alright if I drive very ery safely. I want to grab something to eat and enjoy strilling around while getting tis mellow ass hallucinations. Thanks!
P/S - My notebook case (black) was so intense just now.. Full opened eyed hallucioations. Saw the bag beieng move. It moves like tentacles until puzzled, I looked it in the eye and it's stil don't care and wave the smaller strands and threads in front of my face.
I still can't stop dooling the whole time. I think we're still under the influence but passed two hours already (prob coz I take lots). I'm don't have good motor control and I saw the ground in that room movep like it was living.
OK im not making sense now. I will enjoy the rest of the trip and grab something to eat. Zopidem gets big tumbs up from me!
I'm at baseline now - it's been 2 hours and 30 minutes or so since I dosed. It's great one, Ritalin , Valium, Codeine +Promethezin (spelling error)+ peosephdrine - it gives visuals in the right condition. I hereby declare myself fond of Ritalin Combo and I realize that a big part part of the reason I like it so much is the peak, where the thought patterns gets all mixed up and the heavier visuals starts to come and everything just gets intense and disorienting for a while.
It feels like everything is confusing and it feels like total abandon! :)
I can see why people like this. The anterograde amnesia effects were very strong as well, comparable to midazolam. I don't know whether it was the high dose I took but I can't remember what happened an hour ago coz the time skipped. Total abandon and time skipping - it's gotta be good. :p I can't say I didn't have fun though.
Plus, zolpidem has a short 2-3 hours half-life only so it'll be perfect for recreational use if you can remain awake on very high doses. It feels good peaking at 100 mg of zolpidem on an empty stomach and experiencing the delirium, disorientation and you won't be able to remember. ;)
It's all about the disorientating peak - it feels like magic mushrooms with hit of nitrous oxide. Nice... ???maybe....

P/s More Photos comming up ???My Hands are too shaky to take a up-to-date shot.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Need for speed

I have not ride a downhill mountain bike for a long time. I had a bicycle for tough terrain and decided to tike it for a spin in the city on Tuesday. I was drifting while this picture was taken. Wow!! I feel so good. Pure adrenaline rush =]

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Cannabis in a cube

This is the most interesting packaging I've seen of cannabis to date - it's a small compressed cube, about the size of the Knoll's stock soup cubes. aging I've seen of cannabis to date - it's a small compressed cube, about the size of the Knoll's stock soup cubes. It was a gift from a friend when I was in KL.
Here's a look at the packaging with flash enabled.The remarkable similarity of this to a soup stock cube tickled me to no end...
It's very tightly compressed, as is most Malaysian sourced weed and the quality of the cannabis is relatively good.

p/s. This was taken a few months ago.

Monday, January 09, 2006

HEROIN


Heroin. The name alone invokes fear in the hearts of man.

Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but you’ve gotta admit, this drug sure has a bad name. :) There is a particular ‘S’ suburb here that’s known for having dealers of heroin on the streets. I went to check the place out at the beginning of the week. There are several dodgy looking people around the main street, and after standing in front of the central part, I noticed several guys who seem to be a permanent fixture of the place. One of the guys were obviously nodding out, stumbling around with a vacant stare and all that. I went up to one of them and stuck up this conversation:
Me: Hello, are you from around here?
Dealer: Yeah, what’s up?
Me: I hear you can get stuff here.Dealer: (cautiously) What kind of stuff?
Me: Drugs.
Dealer: What do you want?
Me: What do you have?
Dealer: I only have heroin, you know, smack.
Me: Okay, how much are they?
Dealer: How much do you want?
Me: I only want a small amount.
Dealer: I have A$50 caps.Me: Sure, I’ll have one of those. I hear there’s a lot of cops around here too, should we go somewhere else?
Dealer: Yeah, you gotta be careful around here, there’s heaps of cops in this area. I’m scared man, you don’t look like the type that buys smack.
Me: Well, I’m just experimenting. I’m a student, actually.
Dealer: Okay, walk with me.(We walk into a shopping center)(He seems to chew on something for a bit and inconspicuously slips something out of his mouth and hands it to me)
Dealer: Here you go.(I hand him a A$50 bill)
Dealer: Is this your first time doing smack?
Me: Yeah. I was planning to just snort it.
Dealer: It works better if you smoke it. Just burn it on a foil and smoke it with a straw or something.
Me: Yeah. I know that method too.
Dealer: Okay, take it easy man.
Disclaimer: This was an experience by my friend overseas and I DO Not !! Condone the use of Drugs.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Tonino Lamborghini

I got a present from my Dad and to my surprise he gave me a watch. It is a Tonino Lamborghini Watch which I found out he got it as a Gift (from a credit card thing??) .I was happy as He entrusted that I will not sell it away for dope because I found It retails for a price of S$299 . Thanks Dad!!

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Diphenoxylate(Lomotil)experience

Diphenoxylate is chemically an opioid and has a structure re that resembles meperidine (Demerol). It is available as an anti-diarrheal and reportedly does not appreciably cross the blood-brain barrier, although high doses exhibit codeine-like subjective effects, indicating opiate activity and possible recreational value. Diphenoxylate is primarily obtained from diphenoxylate and atropine preparations, which is used to control diarrhea. This is probably due to the general action of opiate antagonists in causing constipation and the reportedly low potential for abuse in diphenoxylate profile. The diphenoxylate was obtained in the form of Dhamotil, which contains 2.5 mg of diphenoxylate hydrochloride per tablet and 0.025 mg of atropine sulphate.
I obtained Dhamotil (also known as Lomotil) from the pharmacy I frequent in Singapore - it supposedly has opiate like subjective effects from what the pharmacist told me. He noticed a trend between people who obtained dihydrocodeine, codeine, and buprenorphine (drug seeking users of the opiate variety) had also bought Dhamotil in large quantities, presumably for recreational purposes (it sure ain't for helping them shit, that's for sure ;)). I was rather dubious about it, so I didn't look up diphenoxylate hydrochloride until I ran out of interesting pharmaceutical solutions to experiment with and found this in my Box of Interesting Pharmacuticals.

I was pleased with the initial results from looking up diphenoxylate. It seems that atropine was added to diphenoxylate to prevent the abuse of diphenoxylate, which can produce opiate like effects in large doses. The atropine was added in sub-therapeutic doses just to prevent the consumption of massive doses of diphenoxylate for recreational purposes. It sounded interesting enough to experiment with, so I consumed 20 x 2.5 mg tablets (2 blister packs) of diphenoxylate for a total of 50 mg of diphenoxylate. This was consumed on an empty stomach and several benzodiazepines (Dormicum and Rivotril) were also taken on a recreational dose. Cannabis was also concurrently used in this experiment.
I did notice a slight to moderate warmth consistent with opiate antagonists after about an hour and this effect was quite prolonged, lasting approximately 10 hours. This is what I wrote:
little bit of opiat3e warmth perceivedslightly sleepy too due to atropine or prrevious 3xdormslittle nausea tho cannabis was supposed to counter itits okay i guess, to add a little bit of opaiat3e warnth to your nighty benzo + weed combo.makes it feel more sedating...with the coldish but still noticable opiat3e warmth
The sloppy English is mainly due to the cannabis compounded by the close key proximity of the notebook, but subjectively, there is something interesting about diphenoxylate. The dosage I took (50 mg) was several times the daily recommended dose but the atropine did not have an impact on it. I can see the potential for diphenoxylate for a cheap and mild codeine substitute and I landed myself in hospital for Detox whenI try it again at a higher dose (100 mg - 200 mg range) to get a more substantial appreciation for diphenoxylate. (bad Withdrawals )

Disclaimer This expermentment was tried some moths ago and the was from an Acquaintance And He landed heself up in hospital. I Don’t condone the use of this substance or anysort.

Wipeout

Where have I gone, oh where am I bound? The masters of greed have their hands I am nowhere to be found.
my body is here, I see it every day;But my soul has gone into slavery And cannot get away.
They have me there, And keep me for their gold;
Just as in days of slavery,mylife has been bought and sold.
The masters of greed,Have neither love nor pity;They run your block,my block, everyone's neighborhood,They run every town and city.
They'll sell you , me things, I, you.... cannot do without;And when you've paid all I couldsteal They'll laugh and spit me out. And those who love me, And those whom I love, What can I..... do,But weep and watch one die?But again will There be hope....??????
Daniel lim
p/s Took this photo with a digital SLR click to Enlarge

A photo from past Memories









Alcohol , Speed , benzodiazepines ,Cocaine, Heroin too much of them spells troubles ……
Pls This photo taken with an old SLR many years ago overseas.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

New year new ploblems


I was ask to take out a posting from bridge outing and it really feels really terrible all I can say is, The new year means New challengers. It is really hard when people tells you to do something when You are reluctant but anyway they are my ….authorities.
P/s The picture is only an Illustration